The Face (or what's left of it) is in the House

So the madhouse is full again with 11 more celebrities locked up inside the Big Brother house for a few weeks. Many have already described this year's line-up as disappointing (what, no Hoff??!?) but then I think the line-up is disappointing every year on paper - but still usually ends up being a success. Who'd have thought on the entrance night of last year's CBB that the most-shown clip of the series would feature George Galloway and Rula Lenska?

And so, with her hair scraped back in a slap-head ponytail style to rival Catherine Tate's Lauren character, Davina shouts and gurns her way in the usual manner through the welcomes for this year's motley crew...

Not to be outdone by I'm A Celebrity's David Gest scoop last year, BB opens with the entrance of its own Michael Jackson storyteller, brother Jermaine. Next in is former Miss GB and up-and-coming WAG Danielle Lloyd, who was apparently shocked to discover that the photo shoot she did for Playboy showed her breasts. Surely she was there when they took the photos?

This stunning insight into the WAG mind was followed swiftly by either an incredibly excited or extremely drunk Ken Russell. (I'm sure he's not always been quite that nuts, has he??) Next in is former S-Clubber Jo O'Meara (she of the manly jaw and dodgy back) followed by, for me, the biggest surprise of the night - Leo Sayer. I'm yet to decide if he's going to be very funny or just extremely annoying. Next in is Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty followed by Sunday Mirror columnist Carole Malone.

Punk rocker Donny Tourette follows, swearing and two-finger saluting the crowd in a manner which hasn't really been fashionable or particularly amusing since about 1979. Following the tabloid build-up of the day, Ian 'H' Watkins topped the league of least unexpected contestants and duly made his entrance (he's gay you know - shocker, who'd have thought it).

Former Kenny Everett cohort Cleo Roccos was next in, with my biggest (and, to be honest, somewhat involuntary) cheer of the night saved until last with the entrance of A-Team star Dirk Benedict. The Face. Although the nation should now call him by his full name, What the hell happened to his Face.

Much amusement was gained from the usual treat of checking back through the tabloids to see just how badly wrong they'd got it. David Hasslehoff? Robert Kilroy Silk? Su Pollard? Julie Goodyear? Paul Michael Glaser? Adam Ant - he was a cert surely?? 10/10 as ever thought to Pop Bitch who were bang on the money with their list published early yesterday.

But, alas, it looks like the red tops are bang on the mark with the reports of Jade Goody and her family entering the house later in the week. Can't stand the woman myself, mainly because I've never really been able to truly believe that she's that thick. Plus her mum scares the crap out of me quite frankly. Still, at least it's not Nicky from last year.

And speaking of scary, the most concerning quote of the night definitely goes to Jermaine Jackson who, when asked by Davina if brother Michael would be watching, revealed that "Michael has a way of seeing everything". Be afraid - be very afraid...

~~steve~~

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