And the results are....due sometime after midnight!

One down, two to go in the reality TV stakes this week as Hannah Waterman and Marti Pellow took the crown in tonight's final of Just The Two Of Us. It's spent a decent chunk of the week up against ITV's Soapstar Superstar and C4's Celebrity Big Brother but has certainly managed to come out on top in at least one aspect - the ability to string out the results show in the most complicated manner possible.

It feels like the producers of the show have sat down in front of ever other results show on TV and, like a clone of Little Britain's Andy, have spotted each different element and cried "I want that one!". The result is the most long-winded elements of every other show all rolled into one.

For those who've not managed to stay awake long enough to witness it, here's roughly how the scoring and results all work. Firstly, the esteemed judging panel (pictured below) give their own marks. At the end of the show, the public get to start running up their phone bills on the premium rate voting lines to make up the other half of the score, ala Strictly Come Dancing.

At the start of the results show (well, I say "start" but there is, of course, the obligatory 15 minutes of waffle and recaps ahead of it), the running is narrowed down to the bottom three. One of the judges then gets to save one of the three. Cue Simon Cowell hollering "Oi, that's my idea".

Then we're down to the last two who next have to perform again, giving the public time to phone in again to save their favourite while notching up an bit of extra cash for the network in an "I'm A Celebrity" style. As an aside, I've never quite understood the point in making the bottom-scoring acts sing/dance again when clearly, by the nature of their position, they are actually the acts which the public least want to see again.

Anyway, finally, with the will to live all but drained from the viewing public, we eventually get down to finding out whose for the boot before the losers then close the show with their swansong, leaving me once more asking why on earth would we want to hear yet again from the crappest act of the night?

In a way, ITV have got the right idea on Soapstar Superstar - they just chuck them out as soon as the show begins - with Gemma Atkinson chucking them out throughout her performances :-). And it looks as though Celeb BB will be going down its usual plan of just having evictions at random when it suits the schedule - which is fine just as long as they don't then bring half of the buggers back again afterwards.

Incidentally, funny to see that, by the twist in the rules, Jade is up for eviction on the first chuck-out of the series. After all the hype and build-up, I would be hilarious if she went on the first night. Highly unlikely I know seeing as a sizable chunk of the British public seem to have taken her to their hearts, but I can always hope...

~~steve~~

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